I and church have not gotten along very well. Yes, I am a Pastor. But as a paid church member or a regular member I always seem to come out on the short end of things. At first I determined that the problem was the people, so I began a personal revolution to demand that people change. I insisted that those who lived in my circles {or those unfortunate enough to run into me} knew when they were hypocrites or when their self-centered American lifestyles were destroying the planet and inflicting unjust suffering on the third-world slaves who sewed their Wal-Mart clothes so they could save 47 cents. The revolution failed, all that happened was that no one wanted to be around me. I realized that people are just people, inside or outside the church.
The problem, it seemed, was with the institution of the church, organized religion {Which is kind of a funny phrase. What is the alternative? Disorganized religion? Usually that means I want to make up my own way}. So I began a personal revolution to create a level playing field within the church. I spoke to church leaders as if they were buddies. “Hey, Jack, how’s it going?” I wrote articles for the church newsletter to rally all to the side of equality. No leaders! We all are servants under Jesus. That failed too when I learned enough to know I was wrong and the church really does need leaders. There is such a thing as Biblical leadership. Some men do abuse their power and run the church like their own little fiefdom and treat themselves like the king, but the problem is with the man, not the church. I’m glad that I me have met and sat under men who did not abuse their power but used it for others. I’ve long since gotten off the band wagon that works to create a new form of church that reflects twenty and thirty something spoiled brat mentalities. Far too many new style churches are little more than glorified youth groups. Well its time to grow up!
When I realized that the only common factor in each situation was me, I began a personal revolution…that one is still in progress. I hope that everyone will join me in this fight. If we all took responsibility for our own growth and our own involvement in the church, it would be a much better experience for everyone and it would more honestly reflect the kind of mature and loving {though flawed} community that Jesus had in mind.
Here’s where I’m at. This is just the way it is. It’s never going to be perfect – people, intuition or {especially} me. But if we all come together honestly seeking to walk with Jesus I can deal with a lot of sloppiness. {That is not to say that I have no theological and traditional convictions, I most certainly do, strong and detailed}.
Right now, this is my work and my heart still comes alive when I gather together with Jesus’ people to worship Him. That’s what Mark and I will talk about today.
So, I sit here, ready, early, with a stack of books that are themselves good friends. I walked right in {Rob’s chair was empty, I think Thursday is his day off}. Sarah poured my tea while I claimed my table with the book-friends. Weather today? Didn’t notice. Coffee of the day? Who cares?
Mark orders a Mate´ Late´ {Yerba Mate´, if you’re not familiar with it, is the national drink of Paraguay, Uruguay and Argentina. It’s a member of the Holly family and served like a tea. The say it has great nutritional benefits and rejuvenating effects without the caffeine of coffee.} that means he’s doing well and feeling relaxed, a good day to dig into these ideas. I’m so excited that my mouth is moving as soon as his feet stopped.
Robert: Do you go to church?
Mark: Here and there, now and then.
{Setting his cup down. Yerba is traditionally served in a hollowed gourd and drank through a bombilla. The experience definitely lacks something out of a mug}
Robert: Do you worship God?
Mark: Of course. Are you implying that they are connected?
{Setting himself down}
Robert: Yes and no. I’ve been working some of these things out for years. Can I tell you where I’m at? {He nods graciously, grinning at my atypical animation}. Thanks. Stop me at any time.
First, the seed thought that’s feeding my wrestling about the church is the same insistence that all the knowledge, the information, that we have given from God ought to be doing something in our hearts. We’ve been talking about the past few weeks. We know God, Mark. So we ought to have something developing in our hearts about church and worship. A proper knowing develops a heart that desires to worship God. It is impossible for one who knows God, not to worship Him.
Mark: And you are suggesting that worship takes place at church?
Robert: Yes I am, but you’re ahead of me. Can I get there in a bit?
Mark: Sure, where do we begin then?
Robert: Let’s begin with what worship is. I’m arguing for a bigger definition than is prevalent today. The standard meaning of worship in Evangelical churches is music or singing. We have the time of “worship,” then the time of the “sermon.” That is far too small. I brought a dictionary, listen to this:
- The reverent love and devotion accorded a deity, an idol, or a sacred object.
- The ceremonies, prayers, or other religious forms by which this love is expressed.
American Heritage Dictionary
{Mark chuckled at my stack of books. This is the first time I actually brought books with me, I quote all the time. By now he knows me enough to realize that my library is an extension of my brain. It is an honest thing for me to bring them because they are a part of me – and I think that everyone should be reading all the time. Besides, I was thinking about church from outside of one for the first time in my believing life, so I had a lot to sort through}.
Mark: It is emotional and it is ceremonial. The ceremonial is where you get the church part.
Robert: We’ll get there. Let me show you how I came to tie the two together, because I haven’t always.
Worship is emotional; it is an affair of the heart. It is emotion, yet it must not be the working up of emotions.
As a Pastor I have, er had, the most difficult time on the week following a powerful church experience. {Mark gave me a minute. There’s a certain shame that comes with losing your identity, your idols.}. I remember an Easter service in which we intertwined the movements of the life of Christ through sermon with responsive worship through song. We began with a few moments of sermon highlighting the humility of Christ in becoming a man. Then we say in gratitude of that humiliation. I was so moved by the Spirit of God in the service that I and others were tempted to rearrange our regular services to that format. But I did not change is because I want God to bring the emotions from who He is and not from what we do. There is the struggle. Worship is an affair of the heart towards God because He is worthy of being loved.
Mark: So thinking of God makes me emotional?
Robert: Do you have a girlfriend?
Mark: I wish.
Robert: A little sister, a niece, anyone like that?
Mark: I have a niece, she is so beautiful. I love the way she hugs me around my legs whenever I see her.
The other day, I was with my brother’s family and Annie came running up to me yelling, “Unkie Mark, Unkie Mark.” When I looked down at her she smiled and gave me a thumbs up, then ran away.
Robert: You adore her.
Mark: Yea, I really do.
Robert: This is what I’m talking about.
The old English Book of Common Prayer asks all worshipers this question:
Q. What is adoration?
A. Adoration is the lifting up of the heart and mind to God, asking nothing but to enjoy God’s presence.
You adore Annie because of who she is. We adore God because of who He is.
God doesn’t need our worship. The church I worship with meets in a rented hall, not very fancy. If God needed worship, I don’t think He would choose that place, listening to our music and my preaching. I think God would listen to the Boston Philharmonic and maybe He’d want to hear John Piper preach. John Piper’s preaching makes Jesus look good.
Mark: I can do that without going to church.
Robert: You can. In one sense church worship is the just coming together of people who have a common affair of the heart. We help each other develop a desire to worship God in response to who He is.
Mark: You mean, that is what it’s supposed to do.
Robert: That is what it does, to some degree. We cannot help but being drawn to adore God if the Bible is preached, if we take communion, if people are baptized. Now if those things don’t happen, I don’t know why you would even call that place church.
Mark: Okay, I see our thoughts are overlapping here. I worship God in my own heart and when you and I do it together, that’s churching. My life is pretty busy. It is difficult to find time in the day to even think of God. Taking an hour or two out of Sunday strictly to worship with others sounds impossible.
Robert: When we do get busy, the gathering for worship is the first thing to go. But if we have a heart of worship I think we’ll be pushed by the sheer force of the thought of God to worship. It’s as if we have no choice, we cannot help but adore God and seeing you adore God does something wonderful for me.
Mark, I said I’ve been thinking about this for a while, can I share with you the stories of three people in the Bible who had this desire.
Mark: Sure.
Robert: In Acts chapter 16 the Apostle Paul and his friend Silas are in prison for freeing a demon possessed girl from her torment. What a crime! Luke writes that, at midnight Paul and Silas were singing Hymns in prison. What are they doing singing in prison? What were they doing singing at midnight? What hymns were they? Were the at least singing the old somber songs? If it was me there that day, it might read, “At Midnight Robert was crying in a ball in the corner.” They had hearts that were drawn by a powerful force to worship God.
One more example.
The Apostle John was on Patmos, the prison island on a Sunday morning. We read in Revelation 1:9-10 I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet,
{We read out of my preaching Bible. I just got it. Right before I stopped preaching. For years I used this green covered Bible with paisleys on it – it was given to me. I finally spent the money on a good black leather Bible that actually stays open on the lectern when I’m teaching}.
He was in a state of worship, on the day of worship even without a place of worship or a people of worship. He was enticed by the God of worship.
My letter might read, “I Robert, on the Lord’s day was in the a state of depression because I was alone and suffering unjustly.” I am not where John was, but that is where I want to be.
Mark: People inspire me. But don’t these support my case, Robert. Both examples you gave were people alone, not in church when they were worshipping. I think I would pick a more inspiring place, but…
Robert: But this was not usually for either of them. And both of these Apostle’s insisted upon corporate worship as well.
Worshipping in community is the clearest way to develop a habit of worshipping God everywhere and anywhere.
Mark: I can see that, tell me how that might work.
Robert: I am speaking of that gathering God demands you to attend when the community you belong to comes together for the purpose of adoring God
Mark: God demands?
Robert: Absolutely. Since I have it with me, let me read to you from the Book of Common Prayer again:
Q.What is the duty of all Christians?
A. The duty of all Christians is to follow Christ; to come together week by week for corporate worship; and to work, pray, and give for the spread of the kingdom of God.
Q.What is corporate worship?
A. In corporate worship, we unite ourselves with others to acknowledge the holiness of God, to hear God’s Word, to offer prayer, and to celebrate the sacraments.
God demands that his community takes time to stop and remember how wonderful he is.
Mark: Duty and adoring don’t go together for me.
Robert: I have no problem with a duty of faith. It is fine with me if you attend the Sunday Morning worship because you have to. If your motive is simply, God demanded my worship, so I will come. I’m okay with that motivation, provided it doesn’t stay that way. It is like immaturity. You can come out of duty for a period of time, but you must grow out of that.
Mark: Corporate worship is my duty, but it ought also to be my delight? Let me talk this out. I benefit personally as I come with others to worship God. Is that where we are going?
Robert: Right, right, right. Sorry for jumping in, but this is exactly what I’ve been trying to get to. Look at all that we gain out of church, even if its sloppy. I am changed by hearing the Word preached. I am changed by the fellowship as we talk together. I am changed by the prayers that we offer together and for each other. I am changed by the rituals that we practice in taking communion and reading the Creeds. I am changed by the singing of Psalms, Hymns and Spiritual songs. I am changed by the oaths that we take to God and each other that we will go out with God and do our best to live by faith.
Corporate worship as duty and delight is both fruit of a life that loves God and also food for the rest of life.
Mark: My church attendance says something of my delight in God.
Robert: How can we not be thrilled when we know God? How can we not be enthusiastic about coming together to talk of God and share with God’s people?
Mark: And if God is as wonderful as we are saying that He is, why do we look so miserable and disinterested at church?
Robert: That’s a crime. That has to be because many people are still dangerous in their knowledge of God. They don’t know enough to be moved to worship.
Not all will behave the same way. Some folks could never think of dancing in worship and some wouldn’t think of sitting still. The form is irrelevant, unless it violates some Biblical principle.
{Which some forms certainly do and some good forms can be used selfishly. If I am singing with all my heart about the grace of God with my hands raised and eyes closed while the person sitting next to me is crying from their pain, then I am missing the Spirit of God in the moment.}
Worship from the heart will be God centered, it will minister to the needs of others, it will be sincere and based on truth and reverence, it will be from delight and with enthusiasm.
Mark: Why do I have to stop with Sunday? Can I worship at home as well?
Robert: You can do both. Family worship has been a big part of Christian living over the centuries.
All the hippie parents raised us with the idea that they should try to keep us free of religion so that we could make our own decisions when we were grown. By the time we were grown God was not a thought and when He entered our lives we had to sit down with the kindergarteners. People raised in a Christian home at least had something to work with when it came time to decide for themselves.
The Christian home is a great place for catechism. Or else we might be growing up as little heretics. We need much more than teaching only. We want to grow to be worshippers.
Mark: I believe I worship God with all of my life.
Robert: How do you mean?
Mark: This may be overly simplistic, but I figure that if I trust that Jesus’ death makes me right with God, then I worship all the time as I trust in Him alone. The beginning of everything Christian is the cross, isn’t it?
When I trust in Christ’s cross and them step out of the house to go to work, isn’t that worship? Haven’t I honored Jesus’ sacrifice the way it was intended to be honored. Aren’t I acting on what is true? If I trust in Christ, is Sunday church better than doing the dishes?
Robert: I…I don’t think I needed to say this to you today. You get it so well. It took me years to come to that understanding, you had it when you got here.
My point is to combine the two together. Corporate worship with the gathered church prepares you for daily life and worship in your daily life in necessary for authentic public worship.
Mark: So you’re not downplaying the value of my worshipping God alone.
Robert: Not at all. But I am insisting on going to church as well. One won’t do without the other.
Mark: I don’t like going. I don’t like how old it feels. I don’t like the way people dress. I don’t like the power play that the preacher has, declaring the Word for us all to obey.
Robert: First, if it is the Word of God that is being preached, then you have to obey it no matter who declares it. You are obeying God, not the preacher.
But I am saying that I don’t care if you like they way church is done or not. It is your responsibility to do want God has commanded. You are a man; you have to stop making excuses. Learn for yourself, develop your own character and you’ll find that you gain respect because who you are. This is Paul’s suggestion to his disciple Timothy because people looked down on his age:
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
Mark: Have any suggestions for how to do this? I haven’t been part of a church since I was a kid.
Robert: Honestly, I’ve just started to think through this. I’ve been asking myself. How would I want someone to come to my church?What kind of person would gain my respect? And now, how will I get back into one?
I think becoming part of a church would take about a year. You got two categories of things to work on. First, just keep working on yourself – keep learning, keep growing, keep motivated because it will all pay off in the long run. Second, step in like this. Find a church that actually opens the Bible on Sunday morning. I don’t mean they put a verse up on the screen or tell you a nice story. That preachers’ story is not the God inspired Word of God that the Spirit will use to change your life. You’ve got to start here and look past whether the preacher is old or young, in a tie or in jeans. Then patiently get involved. You are not there to revolutionize the place. Humbly attend regularly. Go to study groups, prayer meetings, help clean, help in the parking lot. Whatever service you can offer while the church learns to know who you are. Settle down; make friends with the intention of keeping them for life. Then, Mark, at some point, maybe a year from now, ask for an opportunity to take on more responsibility.
Mark: A year is a long time.
Robert: Yes it is. Mark?
Mark: Yea?
Robert: I know I’m a little blunt. I’m sorry if it’s too heavy.
Mark: Nah, it helps me think, and it forces me out of my narrow little bubble. But becoming something different takes so much.
Robert: Yes it does. I’ll walk with you if you walk with me.
Mark: Well, I’m going to walk out right now, but I’ll be back tomorrow? You?
Robert: Whenever you want, my friend. Though I don’t really know what tomorrow will bring for me. But I hope church and I will do better next time. I hope I am growing and will be more ready for that gift of God in my life.
{So, church isn’t the issue. I stopped looking for the perfect church a long time ago. Unfortunately, myself, Mark, and far too many others have had traumatic experiences at the hands of churches. But churches are just people, Jesus is the only Savior and He only saves sinners. That has lead postmodern church leaders to seek to recreate church in a form that does not remind us of our abusers, that feels good, with a style that connects with who I am. I think we should be careful that we do not recreated God’s community in the image of spoiled children and wounded people. The church must be healthy to care for the sick. If you are sick, if you are lost, if you are hurting, run to a church right now. Find solace and hope and salvation with God’s people. If you have fled church because of how bad it has been for you – you change first. Then return as one from exile who took the time to train and grow and become strong. This is religion that God, our Father considers true. I’ll see you on Sunday.}
